The stuff happens in my life makes me upset.
Almost all goes wrong even if I try as much as I can. Days goes with an incredibile speed and the worst thing is that I don't know when the whole time passes. The pace of life kills me with every day, sleeping 5 - 5,5 hours per day makes me sick at the end of a workweek.
My school annoys me. That had to be "the best school in the area", to get there you must have an abyss of points from tests etc., but that's just a mumblimg. I have a cool class, generally people here are great, but I have no freakin' idea from where people know the school as "the best". Some teacher's treatment to subjects is ridiculous and you have no chance to get the necessary knowledge from their lessons. Plus my home-room teacher who thinks she's a f***ing noblewoman and about the people who aren't wealthy says rats, topers, losers, etc.
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I don't know what's going on with me. Seems that something broke in myself and it can't be fixed by itself. I'll try to do something with my life, certainly must change some stuff. Above all reconile myself with that all.
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I noticed that I get angry very easily. Very, very easily. Even a stupid, little thing can make me furious. I've been trying to stay calm, but... I don't know, maybe I should go to see a doctor or sth like that.
I'm sick and tired of that all happens around me.
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Bad matters are going like an infinity chain reaction. It started many months ago and realising its results makes me depressed every day more. I don't feel to write about that stuff, that's not a place for them. I have to challenge them alone.
There's just one thing that gives me strength to stand up in the morning and go to school. Every day while walking (running) to a train I pass a person who is very special for me :3
...It's some kind over. At least temporary.
EDIT: I've deleted the part about losing friend, that don't mess in my head yet. Maybe just a bit. Also change some stuff and wrote something more about others.
I'd like to thank you all who wrote something below. Reading your comments always makes me smile.
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And at the very end I attache one of my fav paintings of Master Beksinski. The pic doesn't show the real awesomeness of his art, that should be seen by own eyes, in a large size. Anyhow I encourage to visit the official page with his drawings and paintings to which the link is here [The site is still under construction, there's no English yet.]
Click the 'Galeria' link and you'll see some other links. Above all I recommend all 'Okres Fantastyczny' stuff.
Wake up the primal fear and feel the awesomeness of the deepest sides of mind...
Benjamin94
.......(O_O;)...... Holy.... I dunno what... o_O;
That all has happend to you?!
You are sleeping 5 hours (or so...), you lost a friend witch you been with for a very long time and all the other bad stuff...
But dude, do not feel yourself like a loser about it... that's a thing you shall never think that you are! Feel yourself like a normal person witch is just in the time when things gets out of hands... (there are times like that, I quess... I've been in times that are like that... like a time when pets dies or an old friend, the school isn't going great, the parents aren't so much happy as they were for a few days ago and all other creepy stuff that are bothering...) ... but that time doesn't matter for ever! The times where everything is going perfectly is returning after a time! :)
You'll realize that! (Maybe... but i quess so...)
But I dunno if theese words did help or anything but I hope that it will get better!
But it's good that there is SOMETHING that is giving you the power of a dead battery to get fully loaded after some time! :D
Hope that it will get better!
(Winnie sez "Hi"! :)
KuroiYasha
You know, if it was a temporary feeling... but heh, it's going a bit too long. The matters are some kind of chain reaction which is impossible to stop. And I do not say here about school or 'friends', but different things which I would not describe. I realize that the huge piece of them are irreversible and it will never be as before.
Anyhow, thank you very much for the comment, your words help me, you even do not know how much. I feel better after reading that and think I will read it many times more to cheer myself :)
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It will be better. I do not know when, but it will be.
And that SOMETHING, haha, you know dude, that's like a shock charging in a morning, but the whole affair is a bit more complicated :3
('Hi Winnie and Benji!' sez Little Jack Puppet :)